Description

Random thoughts on our impending doom and everyday life, courtesy of a Romance Writer who occasionally feels the need to talk like a Sailor.

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Six Sentence Sunday... bad dreams.


Hello and Welcome to another Six Sentence Sunday. Another from the Sci-Fi Rom currently getting its butt kicked by way of a structural edit. I like giving people PTSD. Not in real life, in the stories. Any in real life is purely co-incidental and I'm sorry but I did tell you not to look.

So, back to the Six. Don't you love a tortured male? I do. And the woman is his newly assigned wife, fresh off the shuttle. They didn't make a very good first impression on each other...

   Cotton sheets clung to him, his body slick with sweat, way too warm. It all felt like a fever dream, only the sickness was in his head, stuck in his memories.

   The room was as dark and cold and silent as space. Took him a moment to place the presence of another body on the far side of the bed. Thankfully, the woman was still asleep, curled up on her side, facing away. Any further over and she might fall off the mattress. 

 http://www.sixsunday.com/

28 comments:

  1. Hey! That's how I sleep. LOL Great six. Very descriptive.

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    1. Badly or about to fall off the bed? You've got me intrigued, Heather...

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  2. You're right, there's nothing better than a tortured hero :) Excellent six!

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    1. Glad you agree Corinne. Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. The character development you have achieved with your scene description is really good. Great six.

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  4. I love it, and I look forward to reading more! :)

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    1. Hi, Jessica. Delight you liked it.

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  5. Excellent description of his thoughts and feelings.

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  6. You really got a lot across in a few sentences! Great description of them both.

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    1. It's a challenge, isnt'it? Thanks, Laura.

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  7. I love the juxtaposition between the fever of his dreams and the cold room. Great Six.

    Good luck on that edit/revision. Been there. Doing that.

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    1. Edits bite, don't they? Good luck with yours, Silver.

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  8. An "assigned" wife is ripe with possibilities. Very intriguing.

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    1. I wanted to try an arranged marriage. We shall see! Thank you, Lila.

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  9. So many aspects of this are intriguing-- his waking in such a manner, all feverish, and then the cold distance and tension of the 'woman' in his bed, and the fact that she's an assigned wife? Can't wait to read more!

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    1. Hey Angela, glad you liked it. Popping over to yours right about now!

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  10. I love your premise for this story! So intriguing! Your six have drawn me in! :)

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    1. Hi Lorraine, excellent! Happy you've been hooked!

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  11. Interesting concept and I loved the description, felt like I was there. Can't wait to see how the story unfolds - great six!

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  12. Awesome description! I love a tortured hero.

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    1. Hey Tonya! They are the best, aren't they?

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  13. Newly assigned wife? That sounds interesting... looks like they have a ways to go before they actually touch each other.

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    1. It is an interesting situation. We'll just have to see how they get along... Thanks for stopping by!

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  14. Mmm, tortured males are my favourite. Especially when I'm the one who gets to do the torturing. :-P But I'm guessing the new wife doesn't want to snuggle.

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    1. Not yet, Pippa. Gotta let the male stew a while!

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