Random thoughts on our impending doom and everyday life, courtesy of a Romance Writer who occasionally feels the need to talk like a Sailor.

Thursday, 14 February 2013

The Apocalypse vs Valentine's Day

To celebrate Valentine’s Day I thought we’d take a wee peek at romance post-apocalyptic style. Can’t be done you say? Almost everyone’s dead and the world is in ruins. Monsters of various shapes and sizes are howling at the door, wanting to feast upon my innards, and you're talking schmaltzy stuff? Are you for real? 

Oh, shut up. Of course it can be done. Romance isn't dead, you just have to think outside the box. Let us begin...

Blood and guts,
Might thrill me but,
The sight of you,
Makes me wanna rut.

No, wait. That’s really bad. Let’s try again.

Our love is big,
Monsters are too,
When I see Godzilla,
I think of you.

Hmm. Look, between you and me I don't think that's going to help with the wooing. Sorry. Let me see what else I've got here.

The tentacles of love that you have wrapped around my heart are not hideously constrictive and slowly squeezing the life out of me at all.

Alright, so I suck at this. Hallmark will clearly not be contacting me anytime in the near future, begging for my services. How about a book to make it up to you? Follow this link here to get a FREE copy of Flesh. Yep, a whole book absolutely free, just for you. And you and you and you. Look, we never agreed to be monogamous. You knew I was seeing other people. Oh for goodness sake, are you crying? You always do this! I don't believe you!!!

That link is only going to be up for Valentine's Day, by the way, so hop to it.


  1. Thanks for the laugh. I've now got Flesh in epub as well as on my kindle. Does that count as a menage? Can never have too much of a good thing.

    1. Good idea getting it in different formats, Fiona. Definitely counts as a menage. Have a wonderful Valentine's Day!

  2. Hey, I thought the first one was pretty good! :)

  3. I think your tentacled beastie has ishews.... just sayin'. Gotta love some beastie poetry!

    1. I find it amusing that we were both commenting on each other's blog at the same time. Go the hive mind. :)

  4. Great post, Kylie! Very funny. :)