Hmm, what a
topic to discuss. There have been a few funny moments on twitter and blogs
lately that got me to pondering this topic. When is discussing your sex life
(whether it be solo flights of fantasy or group activities) okay? When is it not? Does it
even matter? If you’re a lady on the streets but a freak between the sheets
then where is your point of over-share-no-return? Everyone has their own wince
and flinch point. I write smut. High
quality smut involving all sorts of deep apocalyptic notions and shot-gun
action, but smut none the less. In an ideal world my father wouldn’t even know
I’d ever written a book but I simply don’t have that level of care anymore. The
older I get the less I mind what people think which is liberating. But whilst I talk about the writing to my father he is however banned
from reading it. There’s ménage and spanking and anal in there for goodness
sake. He doesn’t need to see that sh*t. That is my wince and flinch point right
there.
I imagine Magic Mike is going to be responsible for a lot of shame very soon. |
People who know
sh*t say that the bulk of sex happening in the world is actually taking place
between long term couples. Contemplate how much of that type of sex we actually
see in movies lacking an X rating. Not really a lot, is there? Why so? Is it
because it’s seen as too intimate? Perhaps it’s simply not dramatic enough. It
is just what people do to have fun and enjoy each other’s company and a bunch
of other things. As opposed to sex that stems from an affair or is right at the
beginning of a relationship where the risks are high and the sex is advancing
or changing the relationship, intimate relations between long standing couples
lacks a certain fire cracker dynamic. I wonder if the same is true for masturbation?
Shame-wise there
are two issues. The feeling you are doing something wrong or something that
reflects badly on you. But then you’ve got the sense of shame that what you do
is entirely appropriate but not the sort of thing that should be shared. It may
well be that first sense of shame as applied to sex and masturbation should be
excised from society and is in fact being slowly excised from society. But even
if that’s right you still have the question of the second sense; given that it’s
fine for you to be wanking (no shame in the first sense) that doesn’t
necessarily mean it’s fine for you to shout about it (shame in the second
sense) according to today’s society.
Do people over
share because they want to be perceived as sexually active people? As people
that don’t mind pushing at the edges of societies norms? And do people object
to over-sharing because they don’t want to perceive that person in that
fashion? Or is it that they’re happy to perceive the person in that fashion but
they don’t want to have an arresting visual image of it implanted in their
heads? In which case, whose problem is that? Hmm? Ask yourself, what would de
Sade do? How’s about Anais Nin? Because yes, these people both pushed at the
bounds of correctness and our world is a better place for it. Mostly. Don’t get
me started on de Sade. That involves copious amounts of wine and a lot of rope.
Romancelandia
wise do we need to be writing up more ordinary romance couples doing the hot
sex times stuff? I’ve seen some of it sneaking in these days but do we need
more? What do you think? Over-share with me in the comments…
OMG - given out IM twitter convo - should have read this first. BUT - with you on the older I get the less I care.
ReplyDeleteI think I might have over-shared a little last night with you girls LOL!!! And agree with Trace on this one too - the older I get the less I care. I mean, everyone of age (and under in some cases) is 'doing it' so what's the big deal!!
ReplyDeleteAnd now I'm keen to have a squiz at this full frontal...
Ladies, Ladies, what happens between friends on IM whilst two-thirds are under the influence stays there forever more. Amen. ;)
ReplyDeleteRecord it all; and you have the basis for your next book.. it could be like Sex and the Racoon City.
ReplyDeleteWHAT do you girls get up to on IM? Kylie, I hope you are taking notes?
ReplyDeleteAnother great blog.
Thanks Louise and Jay for commenting. The late Saturday night silliness seems to be becoming a tradition. Lawd help us.
ReplyDeleteOmg Fassmember *and* Magic Mike? If I didn't love the words in this post so much already that would definitely sell me on it. No mention of cry-wanking, but you can save that for next time perhaps.
ReplyDelete