The Apocalypse vs Valentine's Day

To celebrate Valentine’s Day I thought we’d take a wee peek at romance post-apocalyptic style. Can’t be done you say? Almost everyone’s dead and the world is in ruins. Monsters of various shapes and sizes are howling at the door, wanting to feast upon my innards, and you're talking schmaltzy stuff? Are you for real? 

Oh, shut up. Of course it can be done. Romance isn't dead, you just have to think outside the box. Let us begin...

Blood and guts,

Might thrill me but,

The sight of you,

Makes me wanna rut.

No, wait. That’s really bad. Let’s try again.

 

 

Our love is big,

Monsters are too,

When I see Godzilla,

I think of you.

Hmm. Look, between you and me I don't think that's going to help with the wooing. Sorry. Let me see what else I've got here.

The tentacles of love that you have wrapped around my heart are not hideously constrictive and slowly squeezing the life out of me at all.

 

Alright, so I suck at this. Hallmark will clearly not be contacting me anytime in the near future, begging for my services. How about a book to make it up to you? Follow this link here to get a FREE copy of Flesh. Yep, a whole book absolutely free, just for you. And you and you and you. Look, we never agreed to be monogamous. You knew I was seeing other people. Oh for goodness sake, are you crying? You always do this! I don't believe you!!!

That link is only going to be up for Valentine's Day, by the way, so hop to it.