The Apocalypse...you're doing it wrong. Part 2: Are you too stupid to live?

To celebrate the release of FLESH today I thought we'd continue with this series. You know I’m not shy when it comes to discussing the big issues. Zombies, shoes, love and so on. Today I thought we’d keep up the hard hitting questions and ask ‘ARE YOU TOO STUPID TO LIVE?’ 

It’s an oft used complaint with regards to certain Romancelandia heroines. The type that run up the stairs when they should be heading for the front door and getting the hell outta there. Women who turn into a quivery mess of uselessness when the shit is most definitely going down. Girls that are too afraid of smudging their lip gloss to really get involved in life and all it has to offer. You know the type. It’s not on.

So we need a test. And being the generous free spirit I am, I decided to waste valuable writing time by surfing the internet for pictures to create same. It is too research! Shh... Write down your answers and we'll tally 'em up at the end and see if you are TOO STUPID TO LIVE or rocking the Apocalypse with style and then some.

This is...

1. Dinner for the forseeable future, I guess. Hangon, is that f*cking cat food?

2. An impromptu weapon in a pinch. That's why it's always a good idea to work on your throwing arm. You never know...

3. Too ripply to make a good mirror.

 

This man is...

1. An important member of the team. Gary's a real tactical advantage in a tight spot.

2. Clearly not dressing to his strengths.

3. My next boyfriend. I'm gonna hang off that Marine like a limpet. I will spell out my name on his neck in hickies. Just see if I don't!

 

This looks...

1. Like a nice defensible position with a little work and a lot of landmines.

2. Draughty, but doable. Least it's got good views.

3. Huh? When are we going swimming?

 

This is...

1. Oh, hang on! I dated a geek once. Isn't that Agaron's sword or something?

2. How the undead shall meet their doom by my hand. Bwhahaha!

3. Seriously? Can't I just stick with the pistol for now? That seems a little extreme.

Hope is...

1. For pussies.

2. All we have left. God help us.

3. The bitch who stole my boyfriend back in grade three. Totally stuffed tissues down her trainer-bra. I just know it.

So, how did you score?

Question A. 1 - 5   2 - 10   3 - 0

Question B. 1 - 10   2 - 0   3 - 5

Question C. 1 - 10   2 - 5   3 - 0

Question D. 1 - 0   2 - 10   3 - 5

Question E. 1 - 10   2 - 5   3 - 0

 0 - 10 = Congratulations, you are officially too stupid to live. But hey, who wants to leave a wrinkly old corpse? Ick.

10 - 25 = Could do better. I'm sorry, but without a concerted effort you probably won't last long. Unless Gary really does take a liking to you, of course. Best of luck with that.

25 - 40 = Well done. This is about where you need to be to have some serious long term chance of survival without being a complete nutter.

40 - 50 = It might be best if you remain either a recluse in the woods or a guest at the mental hospital until the Apocalypse begins. Hey, no judging! Just...you know. It's not yet your time. Yet.

How did you go?